Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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