i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
3pm strippers are depressing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize