Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
