There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
