my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Michael Bay diarrhea
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
