I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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