VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
