who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
