i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize