I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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