I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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