I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
