belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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