susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
