we have officially lost it.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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