my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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