I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
