If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
