Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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