You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize