The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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