I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
