Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Duck Duck Cougar?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
