Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
