I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
