ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
