There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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