i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
