What a fucking waste of an outfit
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
