You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
