Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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