so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
