when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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