kristin has been a bad kristin
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
