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after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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