nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize