Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
