Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize