It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
