He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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