I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
