Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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