Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
