no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
