My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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