I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
