he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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