this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
