i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
