I accidentally had phone sex last night
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
