did you get engaged???
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
