the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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