drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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