I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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