it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
