Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
