I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
