Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
