we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
