i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
