She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your dad touched me again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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